The Great State Fight

Transcript:

 * (The video begins with the lower 48 states, either giving a cheeky grin to the camera or glaring at each other)
 * Mississippi: Quit crowdin' me!
 * Alabama: I'm not crowdin' you!
 * Kentucky: Hey, Virginia. Get outta my butt.
 * Virginia: Whatever.
 * (Arizona is seen kicking California)
 * California: That's it, Arizona. We're boycotting you.
 * Arizona: Pfft! Good luck doing it without P.F. Chang's.
 * Washington: At least I let people pump their own gas.
 * Oregon: Hey.
 * New Jersey: Hey!
 * Delaware: I got no sales tax.
 * Pennsylvania: Shut up, Delaware!
 * Ohio: Buckeyes!
 * Michigan: Wolverines!
 * Massachusetts: Sox!
 * New York: Yeah, why don't you go get yourself a real size city?
 * Georgia: Why don't you guys go have yourselves some gay marriages, huh, Vermont?
 * Vermont: You did not just go there.
 * Connecticut: You guys are all a bunch of idiots.
 * (Iowa, wearing a bike helmet, gives an odd like holler)
 * Illinois: Blue states!
 * Ohio: Red states!
 * Georgia: (referring to Ohio) You're not even a real red state!
 * Indiana: (to Illinois) I'm sick of you sending all of your pollution over here!
 * Illinois: Yeah, well why don't you get your own economy?
 * Alabama: Why don't you stop sleeping with everybody?
 * Mississippi: Oh, yeah? Well... WELL YOU'RE A COMMUNIST!
 * (Every single state, sans Mississippi and Alabama, gasp loudly, apparently horrified with Mississippi's comment)
 * Alabama: Oh, that's it.
 * (Alabama slaps Mississippi, and the latter follows suit. Missouri punches Kansas, and Kansas stabs Missouri with a corn cob)
 * Texas: Aw, man. I've been waiting for this since 1845!
 * (North Carolina and South Carolina punch each other)
 * New Jersey: (pulling off a portion of his lower body to reveal a six-pack) Come at me, bro! Come at me!
 * New York: Occupy THIS!
 * (New York and Pennsylvania punch New Jersey. Florida spins over to kick Louisiana. Minnesota sends off some bad governors to invade Wisconsin)
 * Wisconsin: Get 'em off! Get 'em off!!
 * (Iowa gives a horrified holler)
 * Oregon: I'm not gonna fight, I'm a pacifist...
 * (Washington, Idaho, Nevada and California toss Oregon into the ocean, where he sinks. The two peninsulas of Michigan are fighting until the lower peninsula realizes he's fighting himself)
 * Lower Peninsula Michigan: Wait a minute.
 * (Kentucky is punched by Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, West Virginia, Virginia, and Tennessee all at once)
 * Kentucky: Come on y'all, that ain't fair!
 * (Vermont and New Hampshire dump maple syrup onto Massachusetts)
 * Massachusetts: AAAHH!
 * Rhode Island: Please don't hurt me!
 * Nevada: Have unprotected sex with me! Come on. I dare ya.
 * (California and Utah give off horrified looks)
 * Maryland: Eat crab cakes, mother (bleep)! (Maryland shoots out numerous bullets, leaving crab-shaped holes all over West Virginia, Kentucky and Ohio)
 * Idaho: There will be spuds!
 * (Idaho spins around, and uses his upper area to shoot out Wyoming's left eye. Massachusetts spews fire at New York's face, while New York City cheers at this. North Dakota launches some missiles from a couple silos)
 * South Dakota: Haha! We got no people here! (the missiles land in his lower right area) Oh, no! Sioux Falls!
 * Texas: Yee-haw!
 * (Texas is using Oklahoma as a weapon by slamming it against New Mexico, Arkansas, and Louisiana)
 * Hawaii: Aloha! I'm staying out of this one.
 * (Alaska falls on top of Hawaii, flattening him. Alaska give a cheesy smile to the camera)